C7 FAMILY
3/15/26
#9 - EMOTIONS
WITH THIS BEING A DOCUMENTATION OF MY LIFE, IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT I TALK ABOUT HOW I'M FEELING AND MY CURRENT MENTAL STATE. IF I'M BEING COMPLETELY HONEST, I’M AT ONE OF THE LOWEST POINTS I’VE EVER BEEN AT. WHILE THE GOALS IM ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH RELATED TO MY DREAM GIVE ME HAPPINESS AND SATISFACTION, I'VE BECOME MORE AWARE OF HOW I’M ACTUALLY FEELING AND NOT JUST HOW I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF IM FEELING. TO GIVE YOU CONTEXT, I FOUND OUT ON THE FIRST DAY OF LAST SEMESTER THAT MY MOM HAS CANCER. IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO PREPARE FOR NEWS LIKE THAT, AND SINCE I HAD JUST STARTED MY LAST YEAR OF COLLEGE, I WASN’T ABLE TO SEE HER UNTIL WEEKS LATER. THIS DESTROYED ME MENTALLY, AND IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT TO BRING UP IN CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE. MY MOM STARTED CHEMO THE SAME WEEK I FOUND OUT, AND SHE IS GOING TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER ROUND OF TREATMENT IN THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS. MY MOM HAS BEEN MY BIGGEST SUPPORTER SINCE DAY ONE, SO IMAGINING A WORLD WITHOUT HER HAS BEEN INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, HOWEVER THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE HAS REINFORCED MY UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE. I’VE COME TO TERMS WITH MY EMOTIONS, AND EVERYDAY I’M TRYING TO ALLOW MYSELF TO FEEL THE WAY THAT I WANT TO FEEL ABOUT THE SITUATION. IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE CRYING, YOU SHOULD CRY. JUST BECAUSE SOCIETY TELLS YOU YOU SHOULDN'T SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO LISTEN. THIS IS MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TOLD YOUR WHOLE LIFE THAT SHOWING EMOTIONS IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOT IGNORE THE WAY YOUR HEART FEELS, SINCE TRYING TO KICK THOSE FEELINGS UNDER THE TABLE WILL LEAD TO A MUCH LARGER ISSUE IN THE FUTURE. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT MY MOM’S SICKNESS OTHER THAN BE THERE FOR HER AND SHOW HER HOW MUCH I CARE. SHE TOLD ME SHE ALWAYS KNEW I WOULDNT WORK A NORMAL JOB, AND SHE’S ALSO SAID HOW ENCOURAGING IT IS SEEING ME FOLLOW MY DREAM. WITH THIS IN THE BACK OF MY MIND, I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT I WILL REACH THE HEIGHTS I CLAIM I WILL, SEEING AS I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER CHOICE. THIS ENERGY OF MOTIVATION FROM A LOVED ONE IS SOMETHING I WANT TO IMBUE IN MY WORK, WITH EVERY PIECE OF ART I CREATE CARRYING A PIECE OF ME AND MY TIME ON THIS PLANET. I WILL NEVER SELL A PRODUCT FOR THE SOUL PURPOSE OF PROFIT, SINCE THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THE APPROACH I STRIVE FOR. WITH ALL THIS BEING SAID, I DON’T FEEL LIKE DRAGGING THIS ISSUE OUT SO I CAN HIT A CERTAIN LENGTH. ALL I CAN SAY IS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERY DAY YOU SPEND ON THIS PLANET, SINCE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOUR TIME COULD BE UP.
-CAMERON CAMPBELL CRAIG